Please, please. It won't take long at all.
If you'd like to know what it is for, basically it's a petition to help convince the global leaders that will attend COP15 to make good decisions on how we deal with climate change in the future. The words of the actual petition:

"We the Peoples of the World urge Politic Leaders to:

• Seal the deal at COP15 on a climate agreement that is definitive, equitable, and effective.
• Set binding targets to cut greenhouse gases by 2020.
• Establish a framework that will bolster the climate resilience of vulnerable countries and protect lives and livelihoods.
• Support developing countries' adaptation efforts and secure climate justice for all.

Man, I'm just so paranoid about the state of the world. I want to do things and help, but I wish I had more influence. :(

Yeah, this is going to be my diary now. Saves paper. Don't have to write in a journal and whatever. I have an online diary, yep.

I'm probably going to be something uncreative in the future. As in a career. I'll work somewhere where I don't ever have the chance to be recognized. Like an office or Burger King or whatever. There are tons of more worthy people out there right??? :D :D :D :D
Anyway, I'm going to be somewhere. Working for someone I don't like, hating my job. It'll be perfect, I'll never have my hopes up ever again.
That's what you want, world. No. That's what you want, Mariel. Useless piece of shit. You'll die along with this rotting world. You're not capable of doing anything that makes someone else happy. You're not talented, you're not capable. You don't even understand the world. Or the people in it. And they don't want to understand you either. They make everything so complicated and you feel, as stupid as you are, that they're doing that on purpose just so they can make you feel retarded.
You're not good at anything either. All the things you enjoy, you suck at. Videogames- check. Art- check. Talking to people- check. Wait, fuck that. I don't like talking to people, it's exhausting. Or maybe I do? I don't know. Confused as usual.
I'm going to church tomorrow. I'm asking for a prayer request for my friend. Or someone I consider my friend. Who knows if it's mutual. It could always turn. I don't know. She has severe heartburn and no money to get better.
It's weird that such a depressing person like me even believes in God. I'm under the impression that everything I'm writing is my brain lying to me. I believe that my friend is my friend and that she thinks of me as a friend. But I write that it's not mutual. My mind is my enemy apparently.

It hurts to be lonely. It's like you look ahead or think ahead, whatever, and then you realize that no one is going to talk to you at school or write back to you on the internet. It makes me happy that Vanessa replies to these emowritings. I write these both trying to express how I feel since I can't talk to anyone and hoping someone will read it and understand. Or just be there... instead of just facing a blank wall. Words on the internet represent human faces, and that's what I want to look at.
I want to be normal. It's hard living like a loner. If I was different, I'd probably be happier. If I was more confident, I'd be happier. If I was more confident with myself, I'd be happier. I wouldn't judge people just because I have issues with myself.

But for now I have to live with my mind deceiving me.

EDIT: And dood, that personality test I took before? Avoidant personality disorder sounds exactly like me. Reading those words, I see my face looking back at me.

So like, I feel lonely. And not the type of lonely that's like "Oh I'm at home, all of my friends are out and I have nothing to do". No. I've realized that I don't have a place in this world. Will it be forever? Or just for this moment? During my awkward teen years? Am I cursed to be a person that can't relate with her peers, can't find a niche, a little spot to settle into? I've tried making friends OR at least freakin' acquaintances, but it's never worked so I've learned that it has to be something wrong with me. So I've tried fitting in online. Still... nothing... I'm always the one watching, I've never felt like I really belonged anywhere. Or was in a place surrounded by a few people that thought I was good enough to be with them.
I don't feel like I've ever been recognized for anything, or set apart, or.. I don't know.

I wish I could belong somewhere. Instead of being inside this lame Mariel box forever. For me it seems that friendship, recognition, and a feeling of belonging and self-worth is out of my reach. I told someone (who I consider a friend, but who knows anyway) that I felt out of place with everyone and they said that they thought it to be kind of cool.

How is that cool? I have to be around people my whole life, at least it would be better if I could at least relate to another human being without having awkward silences, or at least a clue or interest in what the other person is talking about. It sucks to be forced to be around others for seven hours a day and then feel like you have no place among them. I think that's torture in itself, you know?






I think this is starting to become my emo blog or something.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Low
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Very High
Dependent Personality Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

I took it after cezerye took it LOL. Avoidant Personality Disorder.. Never heard of that.

Have a few icons to share.. it's my first time posting icons I've made on LJ! Please enjoy. :D
One Piece (1-9)
Yu-Gi-Oh: Duel Monsters (10-28)
Miscellaneous [Naruto/Sailormoon crossover, Danny Phantom, Star Ocean, Final Fantasy VII:AC, Death Note, Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro, Legend of Zelda, The Thief and the Cobbler, Original Art, HunterxHunter] (29-52)



( Boo. Paratroops. )

Credits soon to come! Please credit me. ♥

Hah. Life sucks. And yeah, I know everyone says that when they get down, but seriously. It's not going to get any better. My life has never hit a low, but it's never been high before either. It's been monotonously in the middle and I hate it. I'm tired of living such a bland life. Do you want to know what's it like for me? I'm not really asking you because "you" don't want to know, of course. No one does.
But anyway, I wake up. Go to school. For seven hours I'm tormented by the cries of idiots. They don't care "'bout nuttin', bra'", "it just ain' coo ya dig"? Racial... dislike...? Maybe. There's hardly any colored people at my school that want something. To be something. Change something. Just go and cut up in class like you always do. Same for white people as well. I think I'm slowly but surely turning into a misanthrope. That's fine, I guess. Maybe. I don't fuckin' know because I'm so confused and all that, yeah.
After those seven hours of hell, I go home. My parents come home tired, so they're all cranky and don't want anything to do with anything. That's fine. After a few hours, I go to sleep. Same cycle. Nothing different.
I hate. Living. This. Way.
I'm too lazy and cowardly to kill myself, to cut myself, do anything that's supposed to relieve yourself of "pain", but I don't want to live like this anymore. There's nothing in my life. I have a family, yes. A house, yes. Food and water, yes. Education, yes. But I don't deserve any of that. Someone else needs this, someone poor and much more hurt than I. Hurt? I'm not hurt, shut up.
I'm little, a small person, a fortunate person. But I don't want this! I dont' deserve this! I'm nothing, my daily cycle shows me this is true! I show myself that this is true!
I don't know what to do with myself. I'm a hypocrite, a misanthrope that wants so badly to talk to someone.

I want a different life, to be someone different. SOMETHING. SOMETHING DIFFERENT. I'm so sick, so tired. I feel like I can't control a thing in my life. I want something. I'm just not sure what it is. There are so many things.
I have a stupid urge. To post this on the Otaku. But then what? I'll get comments of sympathy. Talking to someone, does that really work? My sister is pissed off at me, my parents never have anything different to say each time I try to talk to them. My little sis is too young to understand. My guidance counselor will give me another lecture. My therapist is going to be gone for weeks.

I'm truly lonely. Is this what I want? I'm a misanthrope, right? I've never been able to connect with people my age, so I've given up on making friends. I'm lonely but I want to talk to someone like this will help me... I don't know. I never knew anything anyway.

"A New Journey" by Celtic Woman. It's so perfect and soothing. I love their voices. I love listening to the instruments. It's so very uplifting, ahhh~

Anyone know of a good oekaki site? :T

Yes. >:|

The HONESTY Box

I just want to know what you guys think about me.

To continue the "mention one happy thing everyday" thing... uhm... It showed One Piece Movie 6 on TV today. So awesome.

And here's some art. I guess. .___. Not that it's really considered art. *sigh*

( We are in a league of our own. )

I slept so much today. Got up at 11 34 in the morning, then went back to sleep at 2, and then woke up at 4.
I've actually been sleeping so much lately; feeling tired. I wonder if it's normal... Well, since I didn't get to enjoy much of today because of sleeping, the only thing that made me happy was my stepmom's cooking. It's like she's a goddess of cooking or something, it's that good.
She made enchiladas for dinner. ARGHHHH DELICIOUS.
Ah, and my sister and I looked at Pokemon fanart on J-Tegaki. That was fun. Why is everyone on J-Tegaki so good though? /self-esteem crushed


By the by, anyone know of a good oekaki board? This one I'm currently part of is a bit annoying for me because of all the noobs...

Twitter.

I realized that I never finished my Happy meme... Oh well. Might as well do it everyday. It'll probably help me start to get a better outlook on life.

Today I went to work as a bagger for the commissary here at one of the military bases in Daegu, Korea. It was tiring work, but I got about $80 in all. I'm very happy about this considering that I've only worked for 6 hours.
I realized today that I really do like working, having a job and all that. It makes me feel useful, like I have something to do with myself and my time.

Anywho, I got tagged by darizard to do some random kind of meme.
First: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.
Second: Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

I don't have eight friends, so you can do it if you want. Whoever reads this.

( I did it 35 minutes ago. )

My sister and I, disappointed with my dad for just driving us to the military base as usual, decided to walk around the neighborhood in Waegwan. We pretty much talked about how we were feeling about the trip and such, and it felt good to just talk about it with someone. And walking around felt pretty good in itself. We walked around a lot and went to the shop close to where we're living to buy ice cream and soda.
I love my sister. C:





Also, it's showing Yatterman. FTW.

Well, I played a lot of Pokemon today. God, have I missed that game. And I had some delicious chocolate ice cream. It was so freakin' good, like rainbows and unicorns dancing the macarena in my mouth or something.

None. The concept of the vampire has been made retarded by Stephanie Meyer's bullshit of a series. Never liked them anyway.

My sister and I shared some quality time today by laughing at some of the "sporks" over at the badfic_quotes community. There are some really, really hilarious pieces of badfic there, especially this one.
The actual fic is here, even though it's the same thing as the spork. LOL. It's so short. Go read it, it'll make you laugh.

It made my sis and I laugh soooo hard. Oh geezus...




And I've become a fan of Watchmen now... joined the watchdom community today. * U *
Adrian Veidt, Rorshach, and Daniel Dreiberg are now my favorite characters. Ah, and Captain Metropolis.. aka "Nelly".

Umm.. my dad made me laugh today by saying "In the Chilgok". Which is a name of a town here in Korea... Shit, I don't know why it made me laugh, or maybe I do because my dad has such a funny voice. And he was singing the words "in the Chilgok" in a way that reminded me of some lame '70s sci-fi program. Like Land of the Lost or something.

IN THE CHILGOKKK~




Geez, I read Watchmen practically all day today and still haven't finished it. Ozymandias(sp?) is a freakin' psycho, man.

Hey, could someone (obviously an OP friend or something) please explain to me how to use op_fanforall  and op_fanforall2 ? I get so confused when I visit that community.

I finally got to talk to my baby sister and my mom today! I've had to wait a whole week to talk to them and I miss them so much.
My darling little sister was talking to me (she calls me "Meh-meh") about a bunny she saw today and a "monkey DBD" (a Curious George DVD) that she got at the store. My mom told me that my little sis was asking for me and my twin for the past 3 days! That makes me sad. ; 3 ;

BUT THE TALK WITH HER MADE ME HAPPY. Have to get on track. You see how I almost lost the whole meaning of this meme?